• Artist: Eminem
• Song Title: Insane
• Album: Relapse

[Verse 1]
I was born with a d*** in my brain yeah f***ed in the head
My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed
Till one night he snuck in and said
"We're going out back I want my d*** sucked in the shed
Can't we just play with Teddy Ruxpin instead
After I f*** you in the butt get some head, bust a nut get some rest
The next day my mother said I don't know what the f***s up with this kid
The bastard won't even eat nothin he's fed
He just hung himself in the bedroom he's dead"
"Debbie don't let that f***er get you upset
Go in there stick a f***in' cigarette to his neck
I bet you he's faking it I'll bet you I'll bet
He probably just wants to see how upset you would get
I'll go handle this of course unless you object
Oh go f*** his brains out if any's left in his head

[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I completely lost it
Is he nuts
No he's insane
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I completely lost it
Is he nuts
No he's insane

[Verse 2]
Did you get him No the f***er tried to bite my face off
I just got f***in' chased off with a chainsaw
Then he took the chainsaw bit the f***in' blades off
Ate the blades stuck a baseball in a slingshot
Then he aimed at his own face let the thang pop
Took his eye out picked it up and played ping pong
Then he played ping-pong with his own ding dong
That motherf***er's got nuts like King Kong
Then he set the lawnmower out on the dang lawn
And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on
Then he took his pants he took every f***ing thing off
Everythang 'cept his tank top and his training bra
Ain't he raw Yeah, maniac that's Shady dog man that motherf***er's gangsta, ain't he dog
Shady dog what be going through that f***in' brain of yours
Say no more what the f*** you waitin' for sing along,

[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I completely lost it
Is he nuts
No he's insane
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I completely lost it
Is he nuts
No he's insane

[Verse 3]
Don't you know what feltch means Yeah well then tell me
Would you rather get feltched or do the feltching
F*** 'em in the a** suck the come out while you're belching,
Burp belch and go back for a second helping,
Can you dig what I', sayin' man could you smell me
I want you to feel me like my stepfather felt me
F*** a little puppy kick the puppy while he's yelping
Shady what the f*** you saying? I don't know help me
What the f***s happening? I think I'm f***ing melting
Marshall I just love you boy I care about your well being
No dad I said no, I don't need no help peeing, I'm a big boy I can do it by myself see
I only get naked when the babysitter tells me
She showed me a movie like Nightmare On Elm Street
But it was X and they called it Pubic Hair On Chelsea
Well this one's called "Ass Rape" and were shooting the jail scene

[Chorus]
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I completely lost it
Is he nuts
No he's insane
If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know I completely lost it
Is he nuts
No he's insane